Insanity Conquers All; New Republic, HoloNet Reporter

"Anchorman Vagoram Galut here, bringing you a news story that is as shocking as it is odd. Now, without further ado, let me turn it over to the holoimages the reporter on scene recovered."

REPORTER: So, you are Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, correct?

SKYWALKER: Correct. What's this interview about, anyways?

REPORTER: Well, I have reason to suspect that you weren't always the noble, respected war hero that you are today.

SKYWALKER: Actually, that's quite obvi--

REPORTER: Don't interupt! I'm the one doing the interview!

SKYWALKER: *sigh* Alri--

REPORTER: Shush. Now, I have found some incriminating pictures.

SKYWALKER: I find that impossible! I've never done anything illegal or immoral!



REPORTER: I see you don't believe me... Well! I shall bring on the first picture!



SKYWALKER: *silent for a long time* Where did you get that?

REPORTER: It doesn't matter where I got it! It matters that you gave a creature of unknown origin a hideous haircut!

SKYWALKER: What?! He was like that when I found him!

REPORTER: So you stole him...

SKYWALKER: NO!

REPORTER: A likely story, I'm sure... NOW! Onto the next picture!



SKYWALKER: I fail to see what I'm doing wrong in that picture...

REPORTER: For one thing, you're signing your life away, and for another, your tie does NOT match you shirt!

SKYWALKER: *says nothing*

REPORTER: Aaaaaaalll right then..... moving on...



We both know you're not a lifeguard...

SKYWALKER: Look, is this going anywhere? Or are you just taking simple pictures and trying to prove me insane?

REPORTER: Pretty much the second thing...

SKYWALKER: La, la, la! I'm not listening to any more questions!



REPORTER: You know, that's not very ma--

SKYWALKER: *suddenly goes quiet and smiles*



REPORTER: Umm... I don't really like the way you're looking at me...

SKYWALKER: *makes face, then begins jumping over the reporter*



REPORTER: What are you doing?!?!

SKYWALKER: Giving you material.



REPORTER: Wait, wait, wait... You're giving ME material? For an article about your insanity?!

SKYWAKLER: *leans in closer* Between you and me... I need to ruin my reputation as a Jedi Master...



REPORTER: What? Why?

SKYWALKER: I wanna be a muppet.



*Recording ends*

"Well, there you have it! Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's finally cracked! You heard it here first!"